A Few Memorable Quotes After More Than 35 Years In Podiatry

I graduated from podiatry school over 35 years ago and there have a variety of memorable quotes along the way. The quotes below are probably the best. They are from me, patients, attendings, residents, students, and others I have encountered along the way. It’s funny how you are able to remember them, yet I couldn’t tell you what I had for dinner last Sunday.

• “Doc, the first 99 years are the toughest. After that, it’s a piece of cake.” — A patient

• “Bones in the same room will heal.” — An attending

• “Partners are for dancing.” — An attending

• “Doc, would you sign this subpoena?” — A sheriff’s officer delivering a malpractice notice

• “You don’t need to be board-certified. You will then be an elitist.” — A colleague when boards were not required

• “You need four years of schooling just to learn to cut nails? Why, to me, it should only take six months.” — An employer between college and podiatry school

• “You’re never going to make it.” — When I told my boss I was going to podiatry school

• “When you become a doctor, you can buy me a Cadillac.” — My dad. I never did …

• “My son, the Doctor.” — My mom

• “The only surgeries you want to do when you get out are traumas, soft tissue masses and diabetic amputations.” — Instructions to the residents

• “If you had common sense, you would go to medical school.” — A classmate

• “You will never do any surgery in the main ORs.” – A general surgeon

• “What kind of doctor are you? You treat children?” — At a party

• “I bet you never saw anything like this before.” — Patients

• “Thank you.” — Some residents, some patients

• Talking to a resident on the phone: “Where are you now?” “On the phone.”

• Talking to a resident on the way out the door: “Which way are you going?” “Out!”

• “This residency has too many hours and is too hard.” — Students

• “I don’t like the way you practice.” — A resident

• Leaving private practice for an academic health science position: “You’re making a big mistake.” — A colleague

• “I want to review all of your cases.” from the late chair of orthopedics. “Only if I can review all of yours,” said I. “That will never happen.”

• “Doc, you make the call. We’re over Cleveland now and if you think we should land, just say the word.” — A pilot during an in-flight emergency. I decided not to land but to speed it up. We were a half hour early.

• “That soft tissue mass was cancer.” — To patients

• “You need an amputation.” — To patients

• “It’s infected.” — To patients

• “Dad, how come you’re not a real doctor?” — My daughter at 8 years old

• “Podiatrists are no better than midwives.” — A surgeon

• “I swear, Doc, I never put any weight on it.” — Patients

• “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?” “100.” — Patients

• “How can you look at feet all day?” — Patients

• “Do you have a foot fetish?” — Patients

• “Surgery is taking one set of symptoms and giving out another set.” — A colleague

• “You want to be a real doctor? Then act, dress and talk like one.” — A senior resident

• “Good, better, best. Don’t relax until your good is better and your better is best.” — A mentor

• “You should ask for a refund.” — Telling an extern when he or she didn’t know a topic(s)

• “You didn’t take enough off last time.” — Patients after nail care

• “You sew good.” — Patients

• “We’re in the same business. We both treat soles/souls.” — To clergy

• “You can read?” — From an internist at a nurse’s station while looking in a Physicians’ Desk Reference

• “What is a tyloma? I never heard of that.” — A student

• “Practice makes perfect.” — An attending

• “Surgery is a privilege, not a right.” — A mentor

• Told a friend playing golf I can’t die until I break 100. Teed off. He said: “You’re going to live forever!”

• “Where does the time go?” — My dad

• “We have a little girl for you.” — Our adoption agency

• “You work for me.” — An unhappy patient

• “You know, when your feet hurt, you hurt all over.” Really? — Patients

• “Peace and blessings.” — A patient every time he comes in

• “I’m proud of you.” — My wife on passing the surgical boards

Finally, there is one quote I would like to hear in every professional situation/encounter along these so many years: “You did the best …”

May your quotes be memorable too …

Dr. Wallace is the Director of the Podiatry Service and the Medical Director of Ambulatory Care Services at University Hospital in Newark, N.J.