Partner From Hell
EMS Reruns is an advice column designed to address dilemmas you may have experienced in EMS that you did not know how to handle. But it offers you a luxury you don't have on scene: plenty of time to think. If you think of an example like the one that follows, send it to us. If we choose to publish your dilemma, we'll pay you $50. We don't know everything, but we do know a lot of smart people. If we need to, we'll contact just the right experts and share their advice with you. E-mail ideas to Nancy.Perry@cygnusb2b.com.
Was that your imagination, or did everybody shut up when you walked into your station's dayroom? You've just returned from several days off, so you check your inbox for mail, clock in and head for the coffee. You're a skilled observer, and you're almost sure you stopped at least a couple of conversations. The other crews have acknowledged your greeting, but now you feel their eyes on your back as you fill your cup. Better brace yourself for a joke.
"What?" you ask, as you turn to face them.
They're clearly averting their eyes, and you think you catch Christy hiding a smirk (though not very well). Before they can answer, in comes Robin. Robin always gives the door an extra hard shove when she enters the station, so it hits the wall and draws plenty of attention. Somebody installed a shield on the wall where the doorknob had produced a hole in the plaster, and the shield is loose.
The general consensus is that Robin is low on the list of preferred partners. Come to think of it, her name isn't even on that list.
She fairly sings her greeting with a lusty "Hello, gang!" When Robin doesn't make a show of her arrival, she's implacably cranky and says nothing at all. But she always bangs the door into the wall, nonetheless. She's a big-league snob, too. Her parents have lots of money. They bought her a degree in metaphysical nonsense from a snob university, and she likes to brag about it. Everything she owns has a snob logo on it.
When Robin's in a good mood, she's so condescending she makes you want to throw up. She doesn't check her equipment (and lets her partners clean it); she's always late with the chow funds; and she treats the first responders like crap. When she's bitchy, she's either yelling at people or breaking into tears over nothing. No matter what's going on, it's always about Robin. Last week, Christy told your boss she won't work with Robin anymore. Everybody seems to know Robin has a new partner, and it's you. Beginning today, right now. Somebody should have told you. Lotsa luck.
Q. What did you do to deserve this? And more important, how do you get out of it?
A. It's not easy to work with a partner who so clearly communicates her disrespect for colleagues. But it is your job to have a partner. Says so, right there in your job description. You probably shouldn't feel too special, because every one of us has had (or will have) partners we don't particularly like. You may not be able to get out of this assignment, at least for a while.
Q. Robin's no better than you are. Why should you have to tolerate her disrespect?
A. Actually, you don't. It turns out that showy people tend to have something else going on beneath all that show. It's kind of like the way Microsoft Windows runs on your PC. You click on the icons and buttons on your screen and things happen, but you don't see the processor executing its instructions at deeper levels. In both people and computers, if you understand the programming, you see more happening than the average observer.
With the right gifts, you may be able to get through Robin's exterior and communicate with the person inside of her. (Personally, I wouldn't bet on it; sounds like she needs a whole new program.) If so, it would be fair to let her know how you feel about working with her--and why. It's worth a try, anyhow.
Q. What if you can't get through to her? What if nothing you do changes anything at all? What if she reacts as usual (tears and all) and blames everyone else?
A. If that happens, Robin's behavior is definitely a bigger problem than you can handle, and it needs to be addressed by your superiors. It doesn't make much sense to insist on respect for the public when disrespect is selectively condoned in the station. And the solution isn't to move the problem. Robin needs to change her ways. If not, someone a little taller than you are needs to free up her future. And soon.
