Elizabeth Smart: The Story Beyond the Trauma

I am grateful for my journey, Elizabeth Smart, American child safety activist, told virtual attendees in her keynote address at The Evolution of Psychotherapy meeting on Wednesday.

It is difficult to find an adult that doesn’t know the story of Elizabeth Smart. The 14-year-old girl, abducted from her bedroom at knifepoint in the middle of the night in 2002. Elizabeth’s face was everywhere, from coast to coast, law enforcement officers were aiding in her search, and news outlets were providing daily coverage.

For 9 horrific months, Elizabeth was repeatedly sexually assaulted by her male captor, while her female kidnapper treated her as an indentured servant. When speaking of her harrowing tale, Elizabeth states, “Right before I was about to graduate from junior high, my world shattered. It was shattered for my family as well. None of us expected this to happen.”

But it did happen, and for the better part of a year, Elizabeth maintained her composure and developed a plan. Not only was she taken from her home—her family—she was taken out of state by 2 individuals with a plan to kidnap more young women. Elizabeth recalls thinking, “We can’t go anywhere else. No one found me in Utah. No one’s found me in California. I’ve got to get back to Utah. That is my best chance to be found. That is my best chance to be rescued.”

She convinced her captors to take her back to Utah and was subsequently spotted and rescued by police officers. The abuse, the pain inflicted on her would have broken most adults, but Elizabeth is grateful. She maintained her identity through all of the trauma and she endured. She told attendees, “At that point, I was Elizabeth Smart, and I was grateful to be Elizabeth Smart because, to me, Elizabeth Smart was still who I was before I was kidnapped. It wasn’t this girl that everyone knew. I had no idea of how widespread my story had been at that point in time. I just wanted to be Elizabeth Smart. I didn't want to be a victim anymore. I didn't want to be a patient. I just wanted to be me.”

In her address, Elizabeth did not focus on the gory details of the 9 months she spent held in captivity and all that she experienced but chose to tell her story beyond the trauma. A story of being grateful and supported, of finding balance in life through self-love and eventually therapy.

Elizabeth’s family did not force her immediately into counseling, she recalls her parents trying to get her help through a therapist and thinking, “I didn’t want to speak with anyone, I didn’t want to see anyone, they were incredibly worried. They went, and they were seeing a counselor at the time, and the counselor’s like, ‘It’s OK. It’s OK. Let her choose. Let her choose.’ I’m so grateful for that therapist that they were seeing. I'm so grateful to him for helping my parents understand that it was OK.”

Elizabeth explained that she had a stereotypical version of what therapy looks like—laying on a couch, rehashing her worst nightmare—and did not want to go through that. “Now, as an adult, I’m like, it’s not that. I’m sure you can find those stereotypes. I’m sure you could find that. I’m so grateful that I understand what it is. Realizing that there are so many different modalities in therapy now. [Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing] and equestrian. So many different kinds. I wish I understood that when I was younger,” she stated.

Elizabeth spoke about her life now, as an adult, as a mother of 3 small children. Her ‘normal’ life where she focuses on ensuring she is managing her kids’ hygiene and daily activities, and that sometimes she is overwhelmed by her responsibilities as a wife and mother. But she also recognized that “for me to be the best mom that I can be, I can’t allow myself to get run into the ground so that I can’t function.”

“Finding time to, even if they’re just small moments throughout the day, to take little snatches for myself, is important to me, and important to my mental health. Then, if I get to a point where I’m like, ‘Wow. So much has happened. Can literally anything else happen?’ Talking to someone about it,” because practicing good mental health habits are an important part of the path she walks today.

She made sure to address everyday stressors that can trigger past trauma for all survivors, especially comparing one’s self to others around them, such as through social media or relationships. Elizabeth reminded attendees that, “every single one of us has a story. Every single one of us has experienced trauma. There’s no one who hasn’t experienced some form of trauma. Maybe it’s not on the same scale. We’ve all had hardship in our life.” And to “recognize that when these hard times come, or when these bad things happen, they don’t define who you are.”

Elizabeth concluded her keynote address by expressing her gratitude to the audience. The people who work with patients day in and day out, which she acknowledges must be very emotionally exhausting, but they keep coming back. “In my mind, you’re just heroes. You have hearts of solid 24-karat gold, or diamond, for that matter, because you keep coming back. That’s amazing.”

Reference

Smart E. Celebrity keynote address. Presented at: The Evolution of Psychotherapy. November 30–December 5, 2021; Virtual.